it all started around 5:11 pm when lacey and i went to this quaint little liquor store in Montgomery, AL in a cute neighborhood (also known as "the gump"- for reasons i will never understand nor can anyone quite explain).
just so everyone understands, i am being sarcastic.
but nonetheless, here we were, pulling into the parking lot when this guy opens his car door almost straight into lacey's car and she swings into a parking spot. he apologizes and his friend jumps out of the back seat.
quick overview of the boys: boy driving= a good 250 lbs, shaved head, very pale, freckly... boy in the back seat= looks 15, has both ears pierced, maybe 100 lbs, also pale, also shaved head.
they proceed to ask lacey if she will purchase them a gram or so of salvia.
for those of you who don't know what this is, let urban dictionary help!
salvia: Depending on dosage, the Salvia experience can vary from a subtle, just-off-baseline state to a full-blown psychedelic experience. At higher doses users report dramatic time distortion, vivid imagery, encounters with beings, travel to other places, planets or times, living years as the paint on a wall or experiencing the full life of another individual.
lacey takes their money and says she'll try her best. this is when i notice who is in the passenger seat. an old woman. probably their mother. looks legit crazy.
THIS is when i get a little nerv. as in nervous.
why can't they buy their own salvia? or get this woman, who is obviously not protesting to her sons or whatever-relation-they-were buying a psychedelic drug.
they turn and talk to me. this was our conversation.
fat boy: hey, whats up.
me: nothing.
fat boy: i'm old enough to buy you know, i'm just not allowed back in that store.
me: *nervous laugh* oh. really. why?
fat boy: it's a long story.
skinny boy: where do you go to school?
me: alabama.. what about yall?
fat boy: oh, we graduated.
(obviously they are talking about high school because they acted shocked when i said i went to alabama)
me: cool.
this is when i guess they get the hint that i am not interested in talking to them and turn to talk to one another.
skinny boy: there's cops everywhere. i wonder if they already locked robby up.
fat boy: *laughing* oh yeah, didn't he shoot that dumb ass cop?
i want to roll up my window and get the fuck out of there.
skinny boy back to me: what are you doing tonight?
me: going to auburn. what about yall?
skinny boy: trippin BALLS hopefully.
old woman: *still looks sedated, possibly dead, no response to the boys blatant drug use*
fat boy: hell yeah dude.
lacey (thank god): hey sorry she said they were sold out, here's your money.
both boys: *look like they may jump her*
fat boy: whatever. thanks for trying i guess.
they peel off.
and i have never been so happy to still be alive.
i can't believe you spent your time blogging this. only you sarah... only you. :)
ReplyDeleteHahahaha yesss.
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